Life challenge - week 36 - beauty

Given I'm a bit behind I'm choosing which challenges I want to do as I go...last week I decided to tackle the beauty, rituals, routines, indulgences. I'm very low maintenance when it comes to beauty. I get my hair cut every 6 months or so - colour at home inbetween (this is a necessity, as unfortunately I have had grey hair since 15). Then I tie it up in a pony tail flipped under style (hard to explain but same every single day - I may do something different once a week). Make-up....hmm what's that again? Well actually I know what make up is - I have some good stuff. Had a clean out not too long ago and purchased some nice new stuff. But don't wear it much. Only if I'm going out for the night (which lets face it, isn't often). Clothes and shoes etc, I've just started to get some nice new dresses. I was never a dress person but am starting to like them - so my wardrobe is doing okay (not great - but okay).

I do like to treat myself to the odd massage now and then (I had one on Friday actually), and will get pedicures and manicures from time to time as an indulgance.

And I did have laser eye surgery a few months ago - so I guess that was beauty related. NO MORE GLASSES!!!

At the beginning of the week I set myself 2 mini-goals for the week:
1. Wear lipstick/lipgloss every day
2. Not to wear my hair the same 2 days in a row

Then I planned to write what I did each day, e.g. Monday I plaited my hair and wore Atzec bronze lipstick. Tuesday I put my hair in a bun and wore my light pink lipstick and so on. I was doing well, until I got to Thursday - and I didn't have enough time to work out how to do my hair. So my hair was the same from Thursday onwards. And then the weekend came and I forgot about lipstick. I did have a Mums group dinner and did a full face make up - but no lipstick. I think one reason was my daughter had her ballet concert and I was helping her get her costume on etc and didn't want to risk lipstick getting on her costume.

Anyway what I learned during this week was, really, I'm low maintenance. That doesn't bother me. I don't mind having my hair the same every day. It's quick, it's easy and it works for me. I did enjoy wearing lipstick to work - but I don't feel any worse not wearing it. I will try and put lipstick/lipgloss on most days, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it if I forget!

Life challenge - week 41 - marriage

Hubby and I have been together FOREVER. We were childhood sweethearts. We started dating when I was only 15, have been together 19 years and married for 13. As time goes on we tend to take each other for granted and with our busy lives don't get much time together (and haven't made it a priority to spend time together). This is an area I want to work on. I put it in my goals to spend one night per week together - well it's now October and yep you guessed it - hasn't happened yet. So this week when Deb asked us to look at our marriages I thought now is a great time to focus again on this area.

This week I've tried to be a better partner - listen more, show and tell him I appreciate him and what he does, say yes more.

I was out buying a card just recently and came across one which I thought was perfect for hubby - just to say I love you and I'm thinking of you. So I got that one too. I decided to list the ways I love him and pop them into the card and send it to him.

To to my husband, whom I've tended to take for granted, I would not be who I am without you. I've written 13 reasons why I love you, for the 13 years we have been married (in no particular order):

1.  You are outgoing and can talk to anyone - a characteristic the introvert in me envies

2.  People warm to you/you make them feel listened to

3.  You cook dinner - and are creative in what you make!

4.  You know lots of "stuff" - some useful - some not so  -but you still know it

5.  You can fix things

6.  You are good with directions - where would I be without you (the other side to where I want to be)
7.  You care about our family, the kids look up to you and want to be with you

8.  You are reliable with the kids - I can leave them with you without worrying what will happen, they are  
      happy to be with you

9.   You look after the kids so I can have time for myself for movies, dinners, massages

10. You get on well with my family

11. You set a good example for the kids by working hard, even when you don't enjoy it

12. You are not afraid to ask for help when you need it

13. You love me despite all my faults

Life challenge - week - 40 - negative or toxic people

Wow this one has come at the right time for me (okay we seeing as I'm behind I just grabbed it as it was appropriate right now). Negative or toxic people take a lot of time.

I have (had) a friend who wants a lot of my time, lets call him Joe. We are at different stages in our lives – me with a young family, Joe’s kids are older and more independent. For me, my family comes first, they are young, they need me.

I wanted to be friends, I did like Joe. I would try and keep up to Joe’s messages but would respond when it suited me, not when I received them. But this just caused more issues with follow up messages as to why I hadn’t responded. In short, Joe liked me a lot, wanted to spend a lot of time with me/communicating with me and expected me to feel the same. Joe wasn’t my best friend, but to him I was.

We had been friends for over 7 years. A few times this year Joe decided he needed to get over me and we would stop talking/messaging. Joe knew his feelings were stronger than mine. It would last about a week until I would get another message. And all would be well again. When I would get the messages about “taking a break” I would always thing WOW – it’s all or nothing isn’t it. We have to text/chat etc daily, or we can’t be friends at all.

Can a friendship last where one person feels more strongly about the other? I thought so, I thought I was managing it okay...it seems I was wrong.

This friendship has recently (just this week) ended. I’ve been un-friended from FB and have been told I won’t hear from Joe again....I’m not sure how I feel. It was my fault it ended – I know that. I think I feel it’s for the best. I didn’t have the time Joe wanted from me. I constantly felt smothered and Joe felt ignored or neglected. Now Joe feels hurt and resentful. Joe had an unhealthy obsession for me. So I’ve got to come to terms with the fact the friendship was probably toxic for both of us. Time to move on and try and foster my positive friendships.

Life challenge - week 32 - balance

This week Deb has us reflecting on our wheel of life we devise in week 4. Hmmm, I haven't looked at this in a LONG time so I'm curious to see where things are at.

The ones I was most happiest in week 4 were work, environment and relaxation and recreation. These each scored a 4. Work and environment are still 4s. My  job is flexible, interesting work where I'm valued and great company. I'm happy what we are doing for the environment - saving on electricity where we can, recycling, solar electricity etc.  Relaxation and recreation has shifted down from 4 to 3.5. A few of my regular activities (scrap booking workshop, weekly walk with colleague, fortnightly coffee) have stopped due to reasons out of my control. I still have a monthly lunch with one friend, and try to get to the movies with my sister or sister in law when I can. And I still squeeze in as much reading as I can.

I scored 3s for home environment, health, family and finances.

Home environment (which I said includes organisation, cleanliness, tidiness and smooth running of the household) is still a 3. The house is still messy and it still frustrates me. It's tidy fortnightly Sunday nights before our cleaner comes on Mondays, then on Mondays after she has cleaned, and the lasts about 1/2 hour. This relates to the habits and motivation task, where I really want to set aside 15 minutes each day for a quick tidy/declutter. 

Health is a funny one. If I did this back at week 32 I would have put health at 4.5. I was running on the treadmill 4 times per week (I let my gym membership lapse as I wasn't using it enough but running on treadmill instead). I did the city to bay fun run - 12km - in 1 hour and 5 minutes! I was so proud of myself...but then we went to New Zealand 4 days after the run - I was too busy holidaying so didn't get a chance (motivation) to exercise, then no motivation when we got home and then I got sick. So basically that leads to my running motivation gone and hard to get back into it. Hunter's bedtimes have improved (we got some help) - we are still struggling to get him to sleep by 8.30pm - but it's much better than it was. And we still aren't eating as well as we could (not too bad but not great either). I'm therefore going to score it at this particular time as 3.5. So improved from 3 - but I need to get back to where I was prior to the city to bay.

Family has moved from 3 to 3.5. I have scheduled in monthly family days - it's a bit tricky with hubby working most weekends now but we are trying to spend some time together. We were doing Friday night family movies - but channel 99 have changed the program on me and no kids movie Friday night now - will try and record shows though at other times to watch Friday night. I've been spending less time on the computer when home with the kids and more time with the kids. 

Finances I think may need to stay a 3, maybe moved to 3.5. We did manage to have a nice holiday to New Zealand - but I never did get to finishing that budget and our impulse buys are still high. We did sort out spending money for hubby and I so we have our own money to spend on "stuff' which has helped a little. But still room for improvement.

My final area of friendship was scored a 2. I was going to call people more - which I did for a few weeks, and then it seemed to slide. But I'm now scoring this at a 3. We have been trying to catch up with friends more often - and I'm starting to make some more friends close to home through childcare in particular - and Mums I chat to at school - not necessarily friends yet - but we are happy to hang out and have a coffee at a birthday party!

Overall I've had small upward movements. My plan for the next little bit is to get back into my exercise/running.

Life challenge - week 29 - paper and information management

Eekkk...in real time the Simplify your life challenges are up to week 42. I seem to have slipped and am up to week 29.  I had decided to give it up and stop the tasks because - lets face it - we are all so busy. But then I've decided they are designed to make life simpler and I really want to get back into it - so here I am...13 weeks behind!

Week 29 is paper and information management. I think I have this one mostly under control. I have a storage container on top of my microwave that has 5 trays. They are labelled miscellaneous, junk mail, Bec's mail, Nigel's mail and pens/stationary. Next to the microwave I have 2 magazine files - 1 for Hunter and 1 for Savannah. In her go important school/childcare/activity notes.
Bills get stuck to the pin board after I have checked the due date and put this on the calendar highlighted.

My emails are a little out of control. I'm subscribed to WAY too many blogs - the majority of which I don't read. I'm also subscribed to many useless newsletters etc. I've set up folders and rules and from now on I'm going to check each email as it comes in and decide if I want to stay on the subscription list. I've already unsubscribed to all the daily deal emails - I was getting so many I couldn't read any of them!

Life challenge - week 28 - cleaning

This week Deb has us thinking about 3 questions relating to cleaning.

What's your minimum standard cleaning routine?
Basically my minimum is quite low. Every night after dinner I tidy up from dinner, load and start the dishwasher, make Hunter’s lunch for the next day and basically ensure the kitchen area is clean and tidy.

What is your cleaning approach?
My cleaner comes once a fortnight. We spend the Sunday before she comes (she comes Monday) tidying – so she can actually clean. She mops all tiled areas, vacuums carpets, wipes kitchen bench/hotplates etc and kitchen table, cleans toilets, showers, bath, bathrooms including mirrors and sinks. The bathrooms, toilets, showers etc only get done by her once a fortnight. We generally don’t do them in between visits. Nor do we vacuum the carpet in between visits. We will sweep the family room/kitchen floor as required – maybe every 2^nd day or so. This includes sweeping up any toys that have been left on the floor for the kids to pick up. They then get a few minutes to grab what they want and put it away or it goes in the bin.
We are quite lax when it comes to cleaning.

Do you use any systems to save you time and effort with cleaning?
The biggest issue I have is the clutter around the house. I’ve been going on about it all year – it’s one of my goals. We need to work on getting the kids to clean up their “stuff” better. I say we will do it every night – make them do it before bed, but again and again I find stuff on the floor and the kids in bed and I’m too tired to pick it up/or feel the kids should really do it. I feel better when the floors and clean and the place is tidy.
So no, I don’t have systems in place. My system is my cleaner and my Sunday frantic tidy so she can clean!  Not a great system. I really want to get rid of the frantic tidy up.

Home challenge - catch up - weeks 24-27

Okay so I have slipped behind....life seems to be spiralling out of control - which is not what we wanted....so I'm attempting to catch up!

Week 24: clutter prevention
Challenge: Identify what your clutter issues are and devise a plan to prevent it coming back or getting worse. What can you do from today to prevent clutter?

The biggest areas for clutter are kids toys, Hunter's craft and kids clothes.

Kids clothes I think I can sort out easily - be sure the kids actually need the item before buying it. I often get a lot of hand me downs for Savannah – which are fantastic – but often come after I have done the clothes shopping.  Not much I can do about this – but I aim to keep what we need, and pass the rest on. And seasonally go through their closets and pass down what no longer fits.

Overall I really like the idea of 1 in 1 out – but for some things this just isn’t practical – like the kids toys! I have just done a huge clear out of toys – in preparation of making room for Hunter’s birthday and Christmas. My rule is once there are no more spaces in the storage boxes, we have to get rid of something to get something new in.

Hunter’s craft/making/pictures etc are tricky. He LOVES making and as such as heaps of cardboard boxes, paper craft, paper and so on. He wants to keep it all. A few weeks back we had a clear out – in preparation for the next term’s work. I think we managed to get rid of just under half of his stuff – but there was quite a lot he just wouldn’t part with. The plan was we will take photos of every item and at the end of the year make a photo book of all his work. He has just bought home a whole heap of craft/paper work etc from the last 6 months at school. When I suggested we were to go through and see what to keep and what to photograph now he was horrified – as if we would get rid of anything Mum – it only just came home. So as this is his creativity I’ve decided we will have a clear out each term – photographing as we recycle so we can create the book at the end of the year. He has a couple of cubes to keep his papers, as well as on top of the cube storage box for his boxes etc. As long as these aren’t over-flowing I’m happy.

As an overall prevent clutter tactic we need to really think through purchases before buying. In the past we have bought just for the sake of it! This will also help in my goal of getting on top of finances. Where possible I would like to bring in a 1 in 1 out rule.

I also need to get back on top of my de-cluttering list. I've chipped away at a few more items - kids books I can now cross off along with jewellery box. Still a few more areas to look at though.

1. kitchen 4 draws
2. my bedside table
3. my hanging clothes
4. top of my walk in robe
5. jewellery box
6. big kitchen tubs and cube areas
7. lounge room book case
8. computer cabinet
9. Savannah's dresser
10. Savannah's clothes in dresser
11. Savannah's built in wardrobe
12. Hunter's clothes
13. Hunter's built in wardrobe
14. kids books
15. kids artwork
16. kids toys
17. garage

Week 25: catch up
Phew...nothing to do here

Week 26: everything has a place
Challenge: Go through your home and clear your clutter hot spots by assigning homes to things.

I have been doing this as part of the home challenge and now have a draw on top of the microwave for pens/stationary, my mail, Nigel’s mail, junk mail (the ones we want to keep a little longer) and miscellaneous – for things that need actioning. I have big tubs/cubes under my kitchen bench – and each hold a certain group of items eg. library books/DVDs, cookbooks, cords, hats/umbrellas, paperwork, name labels etc.
Generally I can’t think of too much in our home that doesn’t have a place – the issue is keeping it in it’s place. But as I tidy up over the next few weeks I’m going to be on the look out for things that are homeless – and try to find them a home (or boot them out!).

Week 27: home routines and systems
Challenge: Examine your household's routines and find 1 or 2 systems or ideas that you will work on implementing of tweaking to suit your home.

I’m quite good with home routines and systems. I already have the following set up:

In the kitchen

-          Meal planning + shopping list

Time management
I have a personal diary and a family calendar – which basically keeps track of the same information – but my diary travels

-          The family calendar keeps track of hubby’s roster, kids activities, family activities, appointments, due date of bills, birthdays (so I know when to send cards/get presents)

-          My personal diary also captures my daily outside of work to-dos, and it’s where I jot down ideas such as kids activities we could try, and I have a couple of pages for our holiday plans

Nightly preparations: I do the following:

-          Kids clothes for the next day (school/childcare days only)

-          Hunter’s lunch for the next day (school days)

-          My lunch for the next day

Household planning/communication
This is an area we are lacking. We do our nightly what we are grateful for but that’s about it. I have ready many parenting books which highlight the importance of family meetings – and I keep thinking we will put it into place, but then don’t know what we would talk about. The kids are 3 and nearly 6, but I think I should just schedule an informal meeting to begin with so they get used to the idea.