Friday 30 March 2012

Life challenge - week 12 - dealing with change



Ahhhh change, no I'm not good at dealing with change. I've been in my job since 2003 - and can't see that changing anytime soon.  It was HUGE for me when we sold our house and bought a new one 2 years ago. We moved about half an hour away from our old house - but boy was that a big change for me. Everything I know and am familiar with has gone - I need to find new doctors, parks, library, shops, ways to get places (my parents, work), childcare, schools and so the list goes on.

I actually just did a 6 week course with a presentation at the end called the Wave of Change - which was all about change management techniques!  The biggest thing I learnt from the course is that people deal with change differently - but it's not something we can just expect everyone to do with ease.  There is the cycle of change, and we have to grieve what's ending (or celebrate the ending), before we can start with the new.

So the big question is, how have I changed over the last 12 (or in my case 13 weeks). I would say straight out, no I don't think I've changed. But when I seriously think about it that's not true. I've not made any major changes, but I've made little changes. And it's the culmination of lots of little changes that create big changes. Something as simple as me posting week 13's task before week 12s.  Now that's out of routine and order, and would previously have me reluctant to do it - I may have written week 13's first, but waited until I had done week 12's to publish it! I've realised sometimes a little flexibility is okay, and routines can be broken!

We have started Friday family movie night. It's something we enjoy as a family (although it's adding another routine to my system!).

I've decided I'm happy with my body- I'm not as thin as I think I wanted to be - but I've decided I'm healthy, happy and can maintain this weight - so I'm not going to keep busting my guts to lose 3-5kg.  That's a change for me. I've previously wanted to lose weight - and then felt guilty every time I would eat something that goes against eating weight. I would do that quite a bit and constantly feel guilty!

I've been working on other areas of my appearance - wearing lipstick and some eyeshadow, changing how I do my hair from time to time (rather than the same old same old every single day), and wearing some dresses. I'm not a dress person- but I get comments every time I wear my new dress to work!

I've changed the way I think about things. I can choose to get annoyed by something - or I can choose not to.  I've been trying to choose not to sweat the small stuff and the stuff that's out of my control and I can't change. Whereas previously I would get cranky about things and maintain the crankiness for ages!

I've tried to catch up with friends via telephone or face to face rather than Facebook and text. I haven't been on Facebook much lately - whereas before not a day would go by. I do miss my online friends - but I've realised I'm trying to cram so much into my life and it's such a time waster that I can just pop on from time to time to catch up with them. I have quite a few online only friends through parenting groups and so on. I've been reading more blogs- I love reading blogs - and trying to comment when I have time.  I've been reading more books. I've been reading to my kids and listening to Hunter read.

We have been working on changes with Hunter - his sleeping and separation anxiety. He has come such a long way in 7 weeks and I'm so proud of him. We have changed the way we parent him slightly to bring about these changes -but him coming home with an award from assembly (where he stood up on stage to collect - unheard of at the beginning of the term) for courage to start the day independently - highlighted to me we are doing the right thing.

I don't know if anyone would notice these changes, but internally I feel happier. And I feel happier now I've written this post - and even in time to link up!

10 comments:

  1. This is great, it sounds like you have made some small changes that bring significant feelings of happiness to you, and that is the best change of all! I hear you on the makeup and hair - I tend to go the low maintenance look day in, day out (and can't remember the last time I wore a dress, actually my wedding six months ago, and I don't own any others!). You've given me something to think about with that, so thank you. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Shelley - definitely small things add up! I'll start you where I was started - I dare you to wear lipstick for a week...see what you think!

      Delete
  2. Bec I think you should re read your post, you have made many many changes, and its definetly the smaller changes that can add up to make significant changes. How cute about the award at assembly, it is such a huge and proud moment when the kids start getting acknowledged for their efforts or hard work!! I am not a dress person either, i dont actually own one!!! And i think its great that you have stepped outside of your comfort zone and changed what you wear every now and then, i think people would fall over if they saw me in a dress!!!! I think you are doing a fantastic job and you sound so much happier, its great to hear xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Paula - I really appreciate your comments.
      I was so proud of Hunter and his award - just felt a bit sad I missed seeing him get it (I had been going to every assembly due to seperation anxiety, but to cut a long story short - I then wasn't and this was one of the only ones I missed - and I could have been there - I chose not to go that day - but again, I've decided to think positively about it! he could show me when he got home).

      Delete
    2. Oh Bec that would be right!! That always happens to me, the week i decide not to go (or forget.....) my kids get praised for something, but you are right, he can show you and be just as proud!!!

      Delete
  3. This is amazing Bec, you are having an inspirational time with your year of challenges! Read this, along with your goals check in post and I'm sure you'll see that you are achieving so much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks Shellebelle - sometimes you do need to write it all down to see what you have achived!

      Delete
  4. Definitely reread and give yourself credit - small changes are what life is about - we rarely make the sweeping grand gestures like career changes or lose 50 pounds (unless they are the only change really)

    Deb @ home life simplified

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sounds like you are doing so well and come so far. Little baby steps add up!

    ReplyDelete